OK, so I’m not saying that these religious people, so adamant about creationism, are wrong. Really there is no proof either way. Obviously this is true or we wouldn’t have the argument in the first place. I have to think though, if you really step back and look at the picture as a whole, you’ve got to question creationism a bit. Exhibit A: tapeworms. So I’m thinking, this all knowing, all powerful individual who decides to create a universe no less is coming up with creatures in his head. Certainly this is a huge task to create a system where there are so many checks and balances, everything serves a purpose, some obvious others less so. So after this gets done, the cake is there, icing on it, a few decorations, but something is missing. What creature could really round this universer thing out? Hmmm, how about something that farts a repair for the ozone? How about something that pisses out crude oil? No, none of these things could possibly be useful. I’ve got it! How about a long thin noodle-like creature? A mouth connected to an anus by a white slimy piece of tape ought to do it. But what can we do here to really make this little guy perfect? I know. He’ll live in th
e ass of something else. Yep, right inside. Not only will he live in the ass of something else, but he’ll just bite right into the side of his pipes and feed right there. Bullseye! God, you sly little minx, you’ve outdone yourself again. What could be better than that? A useless, brainless, shit-feeding, ass-living worm, it’s really the mona lisa of ass critters. No seriously though, looking back on it that does make a lot of sense. Think of how much good the tapeworm does for the planet in general. So much fabric is saved on clothing the rail-thin filthbuckets that carry these things around inside them. Also, the modeling industry has seen a real explosion in disgustingly thin women who've found the magic in letting an intestinal parasite lose the weight for them. With all of the wonderful things that a tapeworm does, it only makes sense that someone created it out of pure invention. Let’s hear it for creationism!
e ass of something else. Yep, right inside. Not only will he live in the ass of something else, but he’ll just bite right into the side of his pipes and feed right there. Bullseye! God, you sly little minx, you’ve outdone yourself again. What could be better than that? A useless, brainless, shit-feeding, ass-living worm, it’s really the mona lisa of ass critters. No seriously though, looking back on it that does make a lot of sense. Think of how much good the tapeworm does for the planet in general. So much fabric is saved on clothing the rail-thin filthbuckets that carry these things around inside them. Also, the modeling industry has seen a real explosion in disgustingly thin women who've found the magic in letting an intestinal parasite lose the weight for them. With all of the wonderful things that a tapeworm does, it only makes sense that someone created it out of pure invention. Let’s hear it for creationism!
1 comment:
Just think of the ass as big daddy welfare for the tapeworm. The tapeworm gets a free meal without working or paying taxes for the rest of its life. Can they apply for disability? If that happens we could be looking at the next largest minority group in the U.S. Let's hope they don't want to do the whole affordable housing crap and get to swap asses if they don't like the one they picked in the first place...Thanks for the inspiration NateDawg, I think working the nightshift makes me see creationism in a whole new light as well. Good luck in your bowel, I mean bowl game and thanks for sticking it to Missouri twice. Take care.
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