So what goes on in a typical day at the porno shoot, besides the obvious? Is it laid back (no pun intended), hectic, regimented, off-the-cuff, or what? I think any one of these styles seems pretty funny. Imagine what it would be like at a porno shoot if everything was scheduled to the minute. Inevitably there would be foul-ups, last minute changes, improvisation etc. To me this all seems hilarious to envision:
Two or three guys are sitting around a table in robes playing cards sipping some coffee. In rushes a director:
Director: “T.T. Boi! J.D. (Jon Dough) just went down with a tweaked hammy. He’ll never be able to double-team Angel with Peter North in that shape. I need you to have a boner ready in 3 minutes! Can you do it?
T.T. Boi (wavering): “I…I don’t know. I mean I just got done filming with Cinnamon on the stable set, I’m pretty spent.”
Director: “Dammit T.T. Boi! You’re supposed to be a professional, act like it! Now get your ass over to wardrobe and get a fireman’s jacket on.
T.T. Boi: “The fireman’s jacket is too damn small! I just can’t fit in it anymore. The only thing here that fits are the ass-less chaps.”
Director (defeated): “This has to work, it just has to.”
T.T. Boi: “It’s porno, (placing his hand on the director’s shoulder and looking down at his now erect penis) we’ll make it work.”
Director: (speechless, a single tear rolls down his cheek).
Two or three guys are sitting around a table in robes playing cards sipping some coffee. In rushes a director:
Director: “T.T. Boi! J.D. (Jon Dough) just went down with a tweaked hammy. He’ll never be able to double-team Angel with Peter North in that shape. I need you to have a boner ready in 3 minutes! Can you do it?
T.T. Boi (wavering): “I…I don’t know. I mean I just got done filming with Cinnamon on the stable set, I’m pretty spent.”
Director: “Dammit T.T. Boi! You’re supposed to be a professional, act like it! Now get your ass over to wardrobe and get a fireman’s jacket on.
T.T. Boi: “The fireman’s jacket is too damn small! I just can’t fit in it anymore. The only thing here that fits are the ass-less chaps.”
Director (defeated): “This has to work, it just has to.”
T.T. Boi: “It’s porno, (placing his hand on the director’s shoulder and looking down at his now erect penis) we’ll make it work.”
Director: (speechless, a single tear rolls down his cheek).
I love this idea. Think about how many completely serious conversations revolve around topics that are absolutely taboo for most people to talk about. Furthermore, there are probably situations that are completely disgusting that happen so routinely at a porno shoot that there are names for them within that industry. Example: “Coughing Flour” Definition: By the 4th or 5th scene for a male actor in a porno shoot he is completely out of “ammo” to the point where he ejaculates and only a small cloud of flour poofs out accompanied by the sound of a gasping cough. Context: “Man, by the last day of shooting “The Golden PlumpAss” I was coughing flour.” 
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