Nothing I see makes me happier than seeing a grossly overweight child. I’m not talking about a chubby
baby, I’m talking about an obese toddler to teen. These plump little rascals really bring a smile to my face. I also really enjoy the parents that waddle along behind them shouting empty promises of punishment for whatever mischief the portly lad or lass might be into. I like to imagine the home life of these kids. I envision two liter Dr. Thunder bottles, emptied into 164 oz. thermal Texaco mugs, littered about next to brown and gold sofas. Li’l tubby sits on his can watching his choice of 974 channels, while the miles on the microwave pile up from thousands of frozen chicken nuggets, tater tots, and corn dogs rolling out onto ketchup smeared plates. “Don’t get any dippin’ sauce on your transformer jammies, you’ve got to wear ‘em all week!”, a loving mother shouts from only a few feet away. Of course the occasional day of school, trip to wal-mart, or local fair all have the ability to separate these rotund youths from their generous ass-grooves they spend countless hours working into their sofas. A greasy NASCAR hat likely caps the pyramid that is the line from shoulder to crown. Often a tank-top provides the cool breeze needed to maintain a life sustaining temperature for these cute little overheated scamps. Various toys litter the yard, each played with once and then discarded by the child upon learning there were no snacks inside, and that the toys themselves weren’t edible. Perhaps for a couple of months, the boy might squeeze into an overmatched scouts uniform and attempt to assimilate with his slender peers. However, after learning that there are no Sonic’s near the campground, nor badges to be earned for pie eating or buttering stuff, interest wanes and the lad retreats to his own oasis in front of cable TV.
Damn, I really love fat kids.
baby, I’m talking about an obese toddler to teen. These plump little rascals really bring a smile to my face. I also really enjoy the parents that waddle along behind them shouting empty promises of punishment for whatever mischief the portly lad or lass might be into. I like to imagine the home life of these kids. I envision two liter Dr. Thunder bottles, emptied into 164 oz. thermal Texaco mugs, littered about next to brown and gold sofas. Li’l tubby sits on his can watching his choice of 974 channels, while the miles on the microwave pile up from thousands of frozen chicken nuggets, tater tots, and corn dogs rolling out onto ketchup smeared plates. “Don’t get any dippin’ sauce on your transformer jammies, you’ve got to wear ‘em all week!”, a loving mother shouts from only a few feet away. Of course the occasional day of school, trip to wal-mart, or local fair all have the ability to separate these rotund youths from their generous ass-grooves they spend countless hours working into their sofas. A greasy NASCAR hat likely caps the pyramid that is the line from shoulder to crown. Often a tank-top provides the cool breeze needed to maintain a life sustaining temperature for these cute little overheated scamps. Various toys litter the yard, each played with once and then discarded by the child upon learning there were no snacks inside, and that the toys themselves weren’t edible. Perhaps for a couple of months, the boy might squeeze into an overmatched scouts uniform and attempt to assimilate with his slender peers. However, after learning that there are no Sonic’s near the campground, nor badges to be earned for pie eating or buttering stuff, interest wanes and the lad retreats to his own oasis in front of cable TV.Damn, I really love fat kids.
1 comment:
I was a great big fatty boom balatty of a kid. I weighed close to 300lbs at my heaviest. Any way, I lost your email and wanted to invite you to my fight. It's tonight and here is a link to a website with all the info
www.pitbullpromotions.net
There are 12 fights and I fight 8th. Doors open at 6:30 with the first fight at 7:30
Brent
Post a Comment