First of all, I can’t say I know of an NFL coach who is more overrated than Bill Belichick. He gets all of this credit year in year out for being some sort of mad football genius. Seriously does anyone remember his stint with the Browns? From 1991 to 1995 he geniused their asses to a sparkling 36 and 44 record, including a 5 and 11 mark to close out his regime. I know what has happened with the Patriots since he took over, you can’t deny any of it. I just know the credit lies with Tom Brady. In Belichick’s first year with Bledsoe at the helm the Patriots were a gaudy 5 and 11. It wasn’t until the cement-footed Bledsoe went down with an injury that the genius Belichick was forced to insert Brady who turned out to be the lottery ticket he needed. Also he looks like a complete douche-bag with that cut-off sweatshirt on. I can’t begin to tell you how much this irritates me. Way to look like a fucking adult you bum. Anyway, that’s my thought there. As for his flawless record this season, I could have had a wet-fart on a blank piece of paper, handed it to Brady and he would turn that into a touchdown scoring play, I’m just saying.
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le need to make more out of the fact that Tedy Bruschi is clearly Eric (Ponch) Estrada’s stunt double. Why is this not discussed more? The two look enough alike that I think that Estrada could have sired Bruschi with a young intern after a few tequila’s during the CHiP’s season 2 wrap party. Does anyone seem less fun to hang out with than Eli Manning? His personality is just absolute shit.
Upon further review, I think the answer to my last question is coaching the Giants.
Hey Michael Strahan, how much cash did you take in for the souvenir piano key that you yanked out of the front of your mouth? Also, you’ve got a bright future in broadcasting. Shannon Sharpe has really laid the groundwork for obnoxious former athletes with glaring speech impediments who talk for a living. In a loosely related story, Christopher Reeves has just been hired as the US Olympic Swimming coach.
I think this week is the perfect storm for Jeremy Shockey to break the law in Pac Man Jones fashion. He’s the ultimate white-trash good ‘ole boy under the disguise of superstar football player. Yet he doesn’t actually have to practice or play in the game (injured), so no real responsibilities to keep his mind occupied. I’m guessing Phoenix strippers all bought new cars about the time Tynes nailed the winning field goal.
What is the over/under on times that Wes Welker and Kevin Faulk get talked about before, during, and after the Super Bowl, and each time getting noted as a guy who does the little things but doesn’t get enough credit? 300? 400?
While I’m on the subject of long shots, how many times will Tynes’ missed field goals in the Packer game be shown before he attempts an important kick in the Super Bowl? 300? 400?
Let me say, I hope Tony Siragusa is on the sidelines for this one. His hilarious comments and outlandish antics always make me die laughing. Did anyone else see the Packers/Seahawks game in the snow? He was riding in the snow plow at one point!!! That is so fucking funny. Imagine an embarrassingly fat former player riding in, of all things, a snow plow! Seriously my sides are splitting. Is there anything this guy won’t do?
I can’t wait to see what situations Bud Light puts the guy who says “Dude” in during the game. Imagine the different tones he could use during the Super Bowl, stay tuned!
I, for one, hope that Jimmy Johnson has another glass of water on the pregame show desk. I was shocked before the NFC championship to learn that negative 4 degrees is, in fact, very cold. The water glass really cleared up my confusion on that point. Maybe in Phoenix he could drink it at the end with some ice cubes added to show how 80 degrees is pretty comfortable, maybe even warm. So some ice water would taste pretty refreshing at that time.
Finally, all of the horseshit surrounding it aside, this week is always bitter sweet. The Super Bowl is always the most celebrated game of the season, even if not always the most competitive. Football fans, casual observers, and even people who never watch football any other time, generally get together in some medley of the three groups to take in the game. Good food is prepared, friends get together, and they all enjoy the party that is Super Bowl Sunday. Beer was practically invented for this day. However, it is always followed by those months of longing, of waiting for the next season. In that way it’s kind of sad, knowing that Sunday’s will just be days where we don’t go to church because it sucks, not because there are games to watch. However, every fall brings new hope. It brings days where a person’s team decides their fate in front of millions, hoping to reach this very day that we now stand on the cusp of. That is why we watch. That, my friends, is why football is awesome.
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